Green like the Astonishment Caused by Flying
by MariaMagdalena19
Summary: After Lily loses her best friend, she soon has to accept that her existence in the magic world is an act of rebellion in the midst of a war. Thrown into a fight she didn't ask to be a part of, she'll find an ally (and maybe more) in a former foe.
1. Prologue: Fifth year

_All I have is my love of love…_

"Soul Love" — David Bowie*.

* * *

 _Prologue: Fifth year._

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath"

She was done with it. She was done with him. Lily Evans was sixteen years old and her whole world seemed to be crumbling around her.  
Right, she was only sixteen, but suddenly it seemed her mere existence had turned into a moot point. Her relationships and decisions were brought into question and the least anyone cared about was her own opinion on the matter.

But, maybe, she shouldn't act so surprised that her best friend, prodigious Slytherin student, had finally revealed his true feelings towards her. She had been crying all afternoon thinking about how much she had loved Severus and how intentionally blind she had been about who he truly was, what his ambitions were. But she no longer loved him. He no longer was her friend. She looked at him, her face etched with anger and repulsion, his full of regret and pleading.

"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just – "

"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends –," she looked at him directly in his eyes, but he merely looked away, "you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth, ready to deny it but found he couldn't. She didn't understand. Muggles were terrible, they hated magic and forced them all into hiding. Even her own sister was a terrible human being! How many times had she made Lily cried? How he hated her, and his father, too. Of course there were exceptions, like Lily, but if only she could realize he was doing this for her, for them.

He wished he could explain. But the look in her eyes evaporated any courage he had left inside him.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No – listen, I didn't mean – "

" – to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

Lily stared for a few seconds at his face and his troubled expression, trying to figure out the correct words to say to her. However, she didn't care. Turning on her heel, she didn't give spare a last glance for Severus Snape as she ascended through the Fat Lady portrait, even as he looked on, hopeful.

Severus stood there with a blank expression after Lily had disappeared through the portrait, even though a turmoil was taking place inside him.

He could barely stand the pain he suddenly felt in full force. He was losing the only person in his life he truly cared about (besides himself). And then he cursed Lily Evans for making him feel so dreadful.

Just a fucking mudblood.

He cursed himself almost immediately. But he almost couldn't help himself, just remembering her reproachful face.

Why did she resist so much? Couldn't she understand everything he was doing was for her? To protect her!?

"You really should leave," said the Fat Lady in her portrait.

He turned away from her and decidedly walk towards his common room, suddenly blind with anger and grief. How he arrived to the dungeons, he had no idea, but suddenly he found himself sitting in a couch in front of the fire. His hands were cold and numb and his face was wet with tears (when had he cried, he did not remember) and he was certain his legs didn't work. When had they last worked? How had he been able to drag himself here? He couldn't tear his gaze away from the fire, the embers of a red that reminded him so much of Lily's hair. He couldn't stop his mind from racing, he couldn't stop the hurting, and he wondered bitterly how much he had done in vain for Lily.

And truly, he had done so much for her, even if she didn't realize it ("or maybe, decided not to realize it," thought Severus with resentment). It had been him who had introduced her to magic, who had shown her what a truly despicable creature Petunia Evans was. And it had been his shoulder where she had cried every time that cow made her feel bad. And had it not been for him, Mulciber or Avery would have probably sent her to the hospital wing. Because no matter what she said, he was not like them. Of course he was interested in the dark arts, they were the most powerful; the dark arts were going to finally return the magic community to the top, out of hiding, where they belonged… But he didn't believe in hexing every single Gryffindor or Hufflepuff that crossed his way, because a truly powerful person didn't need to brag about his own power. You should only show your true power to anyone that wants you not to be powerful, who wants to put you down or suppress your potential.

"We heard you're not mates with your little mudblood," a voice interrupted him. Severus turned to look at Mulciber who was looking at him with a wry smile.

"Piss off," spat Snape, but Mulciber didn't move.

"Are you ready to commit and show where your loyalties are?"

Severus looked at him curiously and, after several seconds, slowly nodded. With nothing holding him back, he will finally show exactly how much potential he had.

* * *

 _… and love is not loving._

* * *

 **A/N: Hi! Welcome to the prologue of my Jily ff. I do hope this one will turn out to be a good one, so I do appreciate any feedback. Please please, if you read this leave a review!**


	2. Tangerines

**N/A: Finally! After forever, I'm uploading the first chapter. This has been hard for me because I'm setting up several plot points for the story. But, alas, it's finally here,cwith its over 13k words.  
** **I hope anyone that reads this likes it. I'm going to start the next chapter tomorrow, but as of today, I wanted to edit this to upload it. Because today is October 31st and I woke up with a heart ache for my Lily and James.  
** **I hope you're all having a good Jily day.  
** **And please, leave a review! It helps me keep motivated.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **-María.**

* * *

 _People are strange when you_ _'_ _re a stranger [_ _…]_

" _People are Strange_ _"_ _\- The Doors._

* * *

 _Summer, 1976._

Lily woke up to a pounding on her door.

"Get up, freak! Dad wants to talk to you."

She heard Petunia walk away as she rubbed her eyes trying to wake herself up. A knot had settled in her stomach that had nothing to do with her sister's insults.

She had been dreaming about Sev. They were supposed to meet down the street, as they would do in the past, but he didn't show up. When she went to his house, a Dark Mark was shinning above and, panicked, she entered the house to find her sister and father death in the ground at the feet of a robed wizard she thought was Voldemort. However, when he turned around she saw it was Sev, who looked pained.

"Can we be friends now?" He had said pleadingly.

She wanted to run but couldn't, for her feet had somehow disappeared and, instead, they were fin-like appendages.

And then, Petunia banged on her door.

She stared at the ceiling, still a little disoriented. Lately, her mornings usually went two different ways. Sometimes she had a couple of seconds (even minutes, occasionally) where she didn't remember Sev and her were no longer friends. Those seconds of blissful ignorance she preferred over the other way her mornings used to go (even if the heartache returned in full force once she remembered the end of last school year), because other times she had nightmares were Sev tried to hurt her, or her family, or her friends. Sometimes, in her dreams, he would walk away, never turning back, and no matter how fast she ran, she couldn't catch up to him.

Today, she ached for those seconds of ignorance. Her heart was bursting with pain and sadness, and even a little fear.

Lily sat up in her bed, knowing full well if she stayed there she would just start crying and her sister or father would call for her again. Probably see her like that, and they couldn't. She just couldn't stand to cry for Sev in front of them.

Putting on her slippers, she left her room and crossed the hall to the bathroom where she washed her unusually pale face, brushed her teeth and untangled her hair.

With a resigned sigh, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen, where her father usually had breakfast.

"Good morning, love" Mr. Evans greeted cheerfully.

Lily returned the greeting with a smile and sat down, pouring herself a cup of coffee and grabbing a slice of toast.

"Tuny said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Ah… Yes." He looked at her, seemingly struggling to come up with what to say. Lily, however, had an idea of what her father was trying to say.

"You haven't talked to Severus all summer."

She stopped herself from groaning or rolling her eyes. How many times did Lily had to explain to her father that she and Severus were no longer friends? And they could never be friends again.

"We're no longer friends, dad."

Her father looked at her, worried, and it was hard for Lily to look him in the eyes. She felt like she was lying to him, although she wasn't. Technically. She just couldn't share the reason she had lost her best mate. She wished she could, she really did, because her father always knew what to say to make her better. No one in the whole wide world understood her as her own father did, and no one loved her like he did. Not sharing her biggest heart break with him only made everything worse. But she couldn't, she just couldn't. There was no way of explaining to her father that her former best mate thought of him and his daughters as inferior beings and was joining a group of wizards and witches famous for torturing and "disappearing" people like them. The shock might just kill him, for Harry Evans was no longer a young man.

"I…" she really couldn't lie to her father, "I really don't want to talk about it, dad. But trust me, we cannot be friends."

"Well…"

"Please, dad. Trust me, it'll be fine."

Lily gave her father a small smile and a tiny squish to his hand, and her father looked at her warmly.

"Okay, but you have to go outside, honey! I don't like you here, all cooped up in your room. Why don't you invite Marlene or Michelle over for tea? I haven't seen them all summer."

Lily shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Besides avoiding Sev by not going outside, she had been avoiding her other friends. She had received some correspondence from Marlene and Michelle, but her unenthusiastic and vague responses had, consequently, reduced the volume of correspondence this summer. Lily was sure her mates were cross with her, but she just didn't have it in her to write long and detailed letters. Nonetheless, Marlene had asked her to come with her family and Michelle to the beach, and Lily had said she would ask her father. That letter was sent more than a week ago, and she couldn't help but to feel guilty.

"Oh," she said, acting as if she had just remembered about that invitation, instead of actively ignoring it, "well, Mar invited Chelle and me to spend a couple of weeks with her family at their beach house and I wanted to ask you if I could go."

She regretted her snap decision before she finished speaking. She had no idea what had made her do it. Dreading the idea of pretending for two weeks that everything was fine, that she didn't want to spend most of her days in bed and not hang out with people (no matter how much she loved said people), she waited for her father's answer.

"Of course you can go! I think it'll do you good to get out of the house."

 _Yeah, he probably wants to get rid of me. Who wants a mourning ghoul haunting their house?_

Mr. Evans beamed brightly to Lily, who tried to return the smile, as they finished their breakfast with more idle chit chat.

* * *

 _7th August 1976_

 _Dearest Marly,_

 _I'_ _ve already talked to my father and he said I could go with you and your family. Have you already heard back from Chelle? The three of us haven_ _'_ _t been together since the end of last year. If you want I can ring her (using a phone, a muggle apparatus) and ask her myself._

 _Where exactly are we going? In your last letter you didn_ _'_ _t give more specifics than_ _"_ _a beach_ _"_ _. Should I pack a bathing suit or are we going up north?_

 _I'_ _m looking forward to seeing you and your family, it feels like ages since I last saw Diane, she must have grown so much._

 _Also, where and when are we meeting for the trip? Should I go to your place? I can take the train up there._

 _Hope your summer is still going well._

 _With all my love,_

 _\- L. E._

* * *

 _9th August_

 _Lily,_

 _First of all, no matter how much you try to sweet talk me, I will not forget you have been ignoring me for most of the summer. And yes, I know what you_ _'_ _re going to say,_ _"_ _we have been writing to each other._ _"_ _But you know I know you are not okay and part of that not being okay is ignoring my attempts at cheering you through correspondence (and failing miserably, thanks)._

 _However, I was certain you were not going to come, and for that I might just forget I am angry at you. I know you probably think you don_ _'_ _t want to come, and you just agreed because you_ _'_ _re Lily and you knew I would make you feel terrible for not coming, but I_ _'_ _m sure a small part of you is going to be happy to spend time with THE BEST OF MATES (as in, Michelle and myself)._

 _As for Michelle, she has already written back to me and confirmed she_ _'_ _s coming, so there_ _'_ _s no need to_ _"_ _ring her up_ _"_ _with the (what did you called it?) telephone._

 _And yes, you should pack your bathing suit (I can hear all the way from here your future frustrated sigh, but trust me Lilian, it_ _'_ _s going to be fun). We_ _'_ _re going to Woolacombe! It_ _'_ _s so beautiful and warm this time of year. Maybe it can get a little packed with all kinds of people, but I cannot complain. You_ _'_ _ll see why!_

 _On a completely serious note: Lily, I know you_ _'_ _re not feeling the best right now and I know you probably don_ _'_ _t want to spend two weeks with people. But, and read me carefully, I_ _'_ _m certain that becoming a hermit for the entire summer is not going to do you any good. I promise you, you_ _'_ _ll have a good time. Nothing crazy, just us girls working on the perfect tan, going to the beach, reading books and eating whatever we want._

 _I hope you can find_ _i_ _t in your heart to be a little excited, at least because you_ _'_ _re going to see us._

 _How has summer been at your house? How is dear Petunia? Please send all my love to Mr. Evans._

 _Marlene._

* * *

 _My sweet Lily,_

 _I just received a letter from Marly and I got to say, I_ _'_ _m terribly offended. Why did you not tell me you were coming with us to the beach? Honestly, Lily, I feel like you sometimes forget you had other mates besides_ _"_ _that person_ _"_ _, and it hurts me because I love you. Don_ _'_ _t you love me?_

 _Although, fine, I guess I can forgive you. But only due to two reasons. First, YOU_ _'_ _RE COMING WITH US and I_ _'_ _m so excited! And, secondly, well_ _…_ _you_ _'_ _re you. You_ _'_ _re just so adorable and I miss you and I don_ _'_ _t want to be cross with you when I see you._

 _So there, you_ _'_ _re forgiven. Now we can do whatever it is best mates do on beaches. You know, your usual teenage-is-at-the-beach-with-best-mates-and-th_ _at_ _-summer-changes-her-life-forever activities._

 _So start thinking._

 _But seriously, Lily. I hope you_ _'_ _re doing better. And I know that you_ _'_ _re dreading coming out of your Lily-cave to be around people, but I promise you it_ _'_ _s going to be alright. Better than alright. We love you, and we_ _'_ _re going to have a good time._

 _Please do try to cheer up, dear._

 _How has the summer treated you at the Evan_ _'_ _s Household? I hope Petunia hasn_ _'_ _t been her usual terrible, or at least that you have been able to stay above it. How is your dad? Tell him I hope he_ _'_ _s doing fine and not too stressed with both you girls in the house. Is Petunia really moving to London? That sounds so uncharacteristically exciting for her._

 _Do not ignore this letter, Lily Juniper Evans_

 _Love you always,_

 _Michelle Mond_

* * *

 _11th August 1976_

 _Sweet Marlene,_

 _Please don_ _'_ _t call me Lilian, my name is Lily. I_ _'_ _ve already told you._

 _And I promise you I was not ignoring you!_

 _Well okay, you got me, maybe a little bit. But I agreed to go with you, didn_ _'_ _t I? I do miss you, you and Michelle, so much. But it_ _'_ _s hard for me to get out of this mental place, I_ _'_ _m sorry. To be honest, I feel heartbroken. And no, I know what you_ _'_ _re going to say, I was not in love with Sev. At least I don_ _'_ _t think I was, but he was my best mate since I was 8. But I really don_ _'_ _t want to talk about it, and least of all through paper._

 _And I guess you_ _'_ _re right, you_ _'_ _re also my best mates. No matter how lousy mates you two can be sometimes._

 _I do hope this trip makes me feel better (I doubt it, but a girl can hope). I hate moping around my house, it depresses my dad._

 _Summer has been as it is always: hot and annoying. Petunia, as always, just communicates with me through barks and insults, so nothing new to report on that end. Did I tell you she_ _'_ _s moving to London? She_ _'_ _s going to take a typing course and probably get a boring office job where she_ _'_ _ll meet a boring man that drives a shiny car and she_ _'_ _ll fall head over heels for him and they_ _'_ _ll get married and have horrible children. I just wish she had left a couple of months earlier to star her perfect life in the big city._

 _But, well, you can_ _'_ _t always get what you want._

 _Dad sends his love._

 _Love,_

 _L. E._

 _P.S. Can you focus for a bit and tell me where and when are we meeting?_

* * *

 _11th August 1976_

 _My Dear Chelle,_

 _Oh, I_ _'_ _m so glad you have forgiven me. Yes, I have been a lousy mate and I_ _'_ _m sorry. I really don't want to talk about it but, yes, I have not felt my best this past weeks. And, even if you don_ _'_ _t believe me, I have missed you terribly. So I am a bit excited to see you two._

 _Mind you, a bit, so don_ _'_ _t go making plans to get matching tattoos (again) so we can remember each other when we_ _'re apart._

 _I honestly don_ _'_ _t see how this summer could change my life, we_ _'_ _re going on Marly_ _'_ _s family holidays_ _…_ _Nothing too exciting there._

 _Dad sends his love, and Petunia did a disgusted sound when I said you had asked for her. I guess she still hasn_ _'_ _t forgotten about our girl_ _'_ _s night out last summer_ _…_

 _Yes, she_ _'_ _s moving to London. Her excitement has kept her fairly content, making her almost bearable. Almost. But yes, I have been able to ignore her_ _. M_ _ainly by staying out of her way, but still._

 _I promise I_ _'_ _m not ignoring you. We_ _'_ _re going to see each other soon, right?_

 _All my love,_

 _L. E._

* * *

 _13th August_

 _Lily,_

 _Look, I understand what Severus meant to you and I_ _'_ _m not saying you don_ _'_ _t have a right to feel rotten, but you have to move forward. You know you did the right thing and, even though it was awful it had to come to this, it was not your fault. Now you can move forward and be happy. And that_ _'_ _s the extent of what I_ _'_ _ll say. I_ _'_ _ll leave you alone. For now._

 _And oh my God, Tuny! I can_ _'_ _t believe her_ _…_ _Well, I guess I can totally imagine her having this ridiculously detailed life plan, and there_ _'_ _s definitely a shiny car in that plan. But it just sounds so exciting to move to London, where everything happens!_

 _Ugh_ _!_ _I cannot believe I_ _'_ _m jealous of Petunia Evans, of all people. So this is my life now?_

 _And sorry, I was just distracted by trying to get you excited with me. You need to be on the 17th at my house, around midday so we can floo there._

 _Marlene._

 _P. S. Just four days, I hope you_ _'_ _re excited_ _!_

* * *

 _Dearest Lily,_

 _I'_ _m still convinced matching tattoos is the best idea I_ _'_ _ve ever had and one day you two will agree with m_ _e. W_ _hen you_ _'_ _re more mature. Meanwhile, I_ _'_ _ll wait._

 _As for how life-changing this summer is going to be... What do you mean it_ _'_ _ll be a regular family summer? I highly doubt we_ _'_ _ll have to spend each waking moment with Mar_ _'_ _s parents. And it_ _'_ _s the beach! There_ _'_ _ll be so many new people to meet. And boys. Nothing like a summer fling to change one_ _'_ _s life_ _…_

 _Tell your dad I send him much love. And I cannot believe Petunia hasn_ _'_ _t forgiven me. I already apologised, and it would_ _'_ _ve been fine if she took the stick out of her bum and not insulted my cousin Sam. But anyway, I hope she does fine in London. And never ever comes back._

 _Should we go to Marlene_ _'_ _s together? Wanna meet at 8 at the train station?_

 _See you in four days!_

 _All my love,_

 _Michelle Mond._

* * *

 _15th August 1976_

 _Marly,_

 _Okay then, we_ _'_ _ll see you in two days at your place. Chelle and I are taking the train together._

 _Love,_

 _L. E._

 _P. S. Yes, I_ _'_ _m a bit excited._

* * *

 _15th August 1976_

 _Michelle,_

 _Yes, I_ _'_ _ll meet you at the train station at 8._

 _See you in two days!_

 _Love,_

 _L. E._

 _P. S. I highly doubt I, of all people, will have a summer fling._

* * *

Lily met Michelle at 8:15 in the train station. They bought a ticket for the train leaving at 9, and then decided to have some breakfast before boarding the train (just some tea and toast).

"Do you want to talk about it?" said Michelle.

Lily turned to look at her. Michelle Mond was a small girl with tanned skin, big brown eyes and short dark straight hair. She also was Lily's best mate and, as such, Lily understood perfectly her silent look. She knew she had to tell her about Sev.

Well, she didn't have to, but she knew it would do her good. No matter how much she hated just thinking about the whole thing, she knew she had to talk about it eventually.

"Not really, no. I just hate feeling so rotten and wish I could forget about everything. Forget Sev even…" her voice caught up on her throat. She was about to say she wished to forget Severus didn't exist, but it was not true. No matter how much it hurt, she couldn't deny her friendship with Severus Snape.

She turned to look at Michelle, who was now looking worried.

"Look, I do want to tell you about it. But not now. I promise I'll tell you and Mar before we leave the beach house, but right now I don't want to talk about it."

Michelle nodded and did not press the matter, for which Lily was grateful.

They boarded the train and spent the rest of the journey talking about Michelle's summer. Her brother was going to start in a new school this year (he, like Michelle's parents, was a muggle)and, surprisingly, her youngest sister had displayed a sign of magic. Apparently, on her birthday, her parents gave her a doll with the wrong hair colour and during her tantrum she changed her mother's hair colour. Michelle was happy, as were her parents, but she worried her brother might be jealous.

Lily just gave her a sympathetic smile, but had no words of wisdom. In ten years, she hadn't manage to keep a good relationship with her own jealous sibling.

The rest of the trip went along smoothly, and after a brief cab ride they arrived at 11:50 to Marlene's house.

It was a big, old house, located in the outskirts of town and hidden from view by a road, full of vegetation, that stretched for twenty meters before clearing into a huge front garden.

"Lily! Chelle!" A brunnette, tall girl came bouncing to greet the newcomers not five minutes after the taxi left. She hugged them both tightly and beamed at them brightly. She was followed closely by four house-elves that took the bags inside the house, two per bag.

Marlene led them through the front garden, chattering on.

"Oh thank Merlin you got here okay! How was the train ride? I'm so glad you got here earlier, mum always gets hysteric when we leave late, even if we're flooing there."

Lily looked around the garden, marvelled by it. She had been here before, but coming from a non-magic household, she always found herself marvelled by this ancient and traditionally magic household. For the McKinnon's were one of the oldest wizarding families, spanning over centuries, all the way back to when they were called MacFhionghuin.

"The train ride was fine," said Michelle, who was also taking in the beautiful garden, looking around as she spoke.

They stepped inside the house and Marlene led them to the living room, where a fire was already lit in the fireplace. It didn't burn green yet.

The walls were all decorated with family portraits, both paintings and pictures, their occupants looking at the newcomers and, occasionally, smiling and waving at them.

In a comfortable-looking couch were two young girls, chatting, unaware that they were no longer alone.

"I'm telling you, there's no way I'm not getting into Hufflepuff," was saying a dark skinned girl to a bubbly short-haired brunette.

"Oh, come on, Sara! We're both going to end up in Gryffindor, I promise."

Marlene cleared her throat and both girls looked around, startled. The brunette got up and went to greet Lily and Michelle.

"Hi, Diane. Merlin, you've grown so much!" Greeted Lily, as Diane and Michelle hugged.

"Thanks, Lil. This my best friend, Sara Shacklebolt."

"So, you're also starting Hogwarts this year, Sara?" Said Michelle as Sara got up to greet them.

"Yes," said Sara, looking uncomfortable, "but—"

"She thinks she'll be a rubbish witch and is not good enough for Hogwarts," interrupted Diane, turning with a determined look to her friend, "but you're being silly. You'll be a brill witch, just wait and see."

"I'm sure you'll do just fine," said Marlene firmly but kindly, "besides, everyone is nervous before their first day."

Sara still looked a bit unsure.

"You're a Shacklebolt, right?" Said Michelle, "are you not sister of Donna and Kingsley Shacklebolt?"

"Yes."

"Well, Kingsley was in Gryffindor. I remember because he was still there for our first three years. And Donna is graduated last year, right? I bet you'll also be in Gryffindor. And even if you end up in Hufflepuff, there's nothing wrong with that. Hufflepuff house has produced some of the finest witches and wizards in history! Like Bridget Wenlock and Newt Scamander."

Sara looked more relaxed after that.

Soon afterwards, Mr. and Mrs. McKinnon entered the room and, after greeting the newcomers, informed that everything was ready for their departure (the luggage already sent to the beach house). All the girls lined up while Mrs. McKinnon held a bag of floo powder.

Marlene went first, grabbing a good handful of the powder and dropping it in the fire, which turned a bright green. She entered the flames and with a clear yell of "Woolacombe beach house!" she disappeared.

Next, Sara and Diane followed her, then Michelle and finally Lily, who followed Marlene's example.

After the familiar sensation of spinning around, she got out of a different fireplace to the one she entered and smiled to the girls who were in a different room to the one they left behind, all smiling and with ruffled hair.

Right after Lily came Mrs. McKinnon and then Mr. McKinnon.

"Okay, then," said Mr. McKinnon after he removed his glasses from his pocket and replace them in his face, "today Mr. McKinnon and I have dinner plans with Mrs. Graham at six. You girls can go out but be here before—"

Suddenly, Marlene and Diane exploded in protest.

"Come on, dad! I'm sixteen and I can be outside after six —"

"Dad! Sara and I cannot be cooped here for two weeks! I didn't invite her to —"

Mr. McKinnon put a hand up to call for silence and exchanged a look with his wife before talking.

"Fine. You can go out while we're out under one condition: that you girls stick all together. I'm talking to you Marlene and Diane. You have to stay together. You cannot leave your little sister and her friend wandering alone late outside, Marlene. You're sixteen but they're only eleven. And you'll be here by eleven."

Diane looked like she was about to protest, but Marlene put her hand on her shoulder and gave her a stern look. Diane look resigned.

"Okay, dad," said Marlene, "we'll stick together. I promise."

"And tomorrow we'll talk about the regular curfew you girls will follow," added Mrs. McKinnon, "now, go unpack your things. Diane, Marlene, show our guests where they'll be sleeping. The elves have already taken your bags upstairs."

And, with that, both adults turned around and left the room. Marlene turned to look at her sister and gave her an encouraging smile.

"Come on, Di. It will be fun hanging with your older sister!"

But Diane still didn't look convinced.

"We don't need a babysitter."

"Oh, come on, Diane!" Said Marlene with an eye roll, "You know I hate being your babysitter, too. But dad is right, you two cannot go alone exploring all the time, you're too young. But I also want to hang with my mates. Why can't we hang out like mates too?"

Diane looked up curiously.

"What does that mean?" She asked.

"Well, we don't have to be together all the time… I know you also want to spend alone time with Sara because she is your mate, but later the five of us can do something together. As mates. I was thinking we could go to the beach and see the sunset. What do you think?"

Diane finally looked convinced.

"Fine, Marly," she said with a smile. She turned to Sara and with a nod she beckoned here to follow here.

As they were leaving the room, Marlene told her to meet them in the living room in half an hour.

"Follow me," said Mar to Lily and Michelle, as she led them outside of the room.

The house was huge, with stairs that climbed for two floors. There was a skylight, illuminating the staircase, where a deep blue sky could be seen. The walls, although painted a pleasant cream colour, seemed less personal than the walls in Marlene's home; there were only some portraits of the nuclear family and some paintings of the seaside.

They climbed the first flight of stairs and Marlene led them through an ample corridor with three different doors, then entered the only door on the right.

They entered a huge room, with three twin beds and big windows overseeing the ocean. That's when Lily noticed they were on top a small hill that seemed to be a couple of miles away from the beach. To the right of the house, from the position where the girls were looking out from the windows, almost hidden from view, was what Lily assumed was Woolacombe. It looked like a small, touristy town.

"We're a twenty-minute walk away from town and a fifteen-minute walk from a beach. However, the beach where all the fit guys go is right next to town, so we have to walk to town for that beach."

Lily turned to look at her.

"Mar, this place is beautiful!"

"See, Lil?" Said Michelle, "This is going to be fun."

Lily smiled.

Marlene turned her back to the windows and started unpacking her things from a bag that was on top of the middle bed. On the other bed's were Lily's and Michelle's bags.

"So, usually, I have my own bedroom, but I decided we should sleep here. This room is used for when my cousins come with us," said Mar as she put some folded clothes in a dresser next to a door that Lily hadn't noticed. "This," she said, opening the door, "is the bathroom. We'll have to share, but I say that shouldn't be a problem."

"Yes, I hardly think it's going to be a problem," answered Michelle as she shuffled through her stuff.

Lily sat down next to her bag and opened it. She had brought a sundress and a couple of skirts, some beach shorts and tank vests in various colours, two pairs of jeans, a single cardigan, five pairs of underpants, a pair of canvas trainers, a pair of sandals, and a pair of slipper socks. And her favourite and only bathing suit, a simple black one piece.

She liked to think of herself as a practical girl, but when it came to packing she always thought she overpacked (if ever so slightly), because she liked to keep her options open. It was practical, right? Right, it made sense to her, and she took her things out with a dignified air.

If Lily had bothered to look around, she would've noticed her friends didn't think it weird she'd brought a couple of options. Michelle herself had brought some skirts and shorts, and Marlene kept part of her summer closet in this house ("the sunny clothes" she used to say). Still, Lily couldn't help but to still feel defensive about her meticulous (and maybe exaggerated) planning around this trip.

Her letters had been written as casually and friendly as possible, but each had several drafts that ended up in the bottom of Lily's trash bin. She truly felt a part of her wanted to go to the beach, with her friends, get out of the house, away from Petunia and from Severus's memory… But there was a part of her that truly appreciated her solitude. Her own room was a way out of her own problems, to read her own muggle books and maybe write a little bit, read her history books, both muggle and magic.

 _That is unhealthy_ , a reasonable voice said inside her head every time she contemplated making up an excuse not to go to the beach. _Y_ _ou know i_ _t is_ _unhealthy to get all cooped up inside your room, because then you get all cooped up inside your mind._

And every time that reasonable voice convinced her to try to get excited about the trip, she had to confront the fact that she was scared of leaving her room. The truth was that yes, maybe she was partially scared, not of going to the beach, but of going out with her best mates and having to say out loud that she was upset. Upset because her best mate of eight years was all of a sudden not her mate at all, but actually as opposite to a mate as one can be. And she couldn't face the fact that she was both not okay and okay with that. And that was not okay at all. Because she also had to face the fact that she used to truly love Severus Snape, not in a romantic way but also not in a brotherly way; because he was her first true first friend (outside her sister), and her first connection to the most amazing thing that had happened to her, her own potential to do something more, bigger.

To do some good.

And as a painful reminder, she thought about how okay she was with having Sev outside of her life. He had chosen his own path and now he was headed for bad things. And it truly saddened her how okay she was with this when she truly, deeply, obsessively thought about it. She had to accept this situation as just part of being born into a community that actively despised her. And she couldn't control what Severus or any of his Death Eaters friends thought or tried to do. But she could definitely try to stand her ground, and fight for what was fair, and show she would not be pushed around or made to feel afraid to be herself, to try to hide herself. And she realised that to accept this about herself, she had to accept the loss of the single most important relationship she had outside her family up until now.

And as she found she was both okay and not okay with the whole thing, her heart would ache so badly, and her head would spin. For a few seconds, she would feel completely terrified of admitting all this out loud, because then it might just become all too real for her.

 _You gotta tell your friends. Severus was not your only mate_ , said the voice in her head.

And as the faces of Michelle and Marlene appeared inside her mind, she knew it would be okay because no matter how much it hurt right now to talk about how her life as she knew it was a lie, about how she had been naïve for so long, lying to herself, she did not have to do everything on her own.

And she truly wanted to talk to her friends, really, because she did love them and she knew their relationship was good and they cared for her, they truly did. And she knew this fight, whatever it was that came next, she didn't have to fight alone. Because Michelle was in the same position as she was and, although Marlene was a pureblood, her and her whole family were fervently anti-Voldemort, gaining them the status of blood-traitors.

But as much as she wanted to be with her best mates, she didn't felt exactly comfortable being happy and cheerful and fun and joking Lily 24/7 for two weeks (and then some more once they got back to Hogwarts). Still, as she thought of her mates and the comfort they represented to her, she also felt like she could make an effort for them. Because she also loved them.

However, she didn't want to worry them more than what Lily thought was the appropriate amount (which was just barely above "slightly worried"). So she truly tried to be properly excited about this. And maybe a part of her was properly excited, and maybe that was good enough for now.

That is how she found herself unpacking with a bit of paranoia, because maybe she had been overthinking a bit much when packing and maybe her friends would notice she was being (maybe) a little bit overenthusiastic and then, they would worry and spend the rest of the day trying to cheer her up or something. And maybe she just needed a little normalcy.

But if Lily had stopped overthinking her packing decisions, she would've noticed no one was paying any particular attention to her as she unpacked her things and stored them in the chest drawer in front of her bed and the wardrobe in the other corner of the room.

No one was noticing her because Michelle was now relating her own summer details, as Lily guiltily noticed, so she decided to stop being so self-absorbed, a lousy mate and, for once, pay attention.

"— so, of course, mum and dad were so excited when they saw that Kathy was laughing so hard and mum had this awful orange-coloured hair. And she had to dye it black, of course, but she tells her loss of her chocolate hair is worth it for having another witch in the house. And, of course, Mark stomps out of the room."

"Did you try to talk to him?" Inquired Marlene, as she rummaged through her makeup bag looking for sunscreen.

"Yes, of course. And I think it's a good sign that he let me in his room and listened to my whole speech. But I worry about the fuss my parents made, like he was nothing special. Ha! He's so special, and I wish he could trust me on this. But magic is so… sparkly."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," added Lily, thinking of her own sister as she tried deciding on which book she'd like to take with her today ("A Room's of One's Own" or "Little Women"?). "Petunia is so bitter, always has been so bitter, of every little thing I did that slightly deviated from the norm, that sparkled a little or was particularly pretty."

She turned to look at Michelle who was looking scared, then to Marlene who was giving her a pointed look, and quickly tried to clarify her comment.

"I mean, that's Petunia. I'm just saying I understand how hard it can be to see that there's more than one way to be special, and it made my sister bitter. And myself, if I'm truly being honest, but only because of my own faults. Mark loves both you and Kathy, Chelle, and he'll soon realise he wants you both in his life. It's just difficult for him, but I'm sure you three will stick together," ended Lily with a smile. And although internally she knew perfectly well she had no way of assuring anything like that, she also knew Petunia was her sister, not everyone's sibling. And it was not fair to pour her own bitterness and insecurities with her friend, who still had two loving siblings.

"Yeah," sighed Chelle, "I know you're probably right. I just worry. But Mark is a good boy, so you're right. He listened, and we should take it one day at a time."

As Marlene nodded satisfied, she turned to her wristwatch.

"So, we're supposed to meet with my sister in ten minutes. I was thinking we could go into town. We can go to the beach, have a little picnic, read a little, swim a little, and then get back here for dinner before heading out to watch the sunset. How does that sound?"

"Sounds brill," said Chelle brightly, as she took her bathing suit out (a pretty and simple cream yellow two piece) and a bottle of sun lotion, marching her way to the bathroom.

Lily smiled as she put her book ("A Room of One's Own" was the winner in the end) inside a smaller backpack alongside with some shades, a hair tie, a muggle notebook and a simple pen. Because no matter how much she loved writing on parchment with a quill and ink, she enjoyed the practicality of muggle writing methods.

"Are you swimming today, Lilian?"

"I've told you," said Lily rolling her eyes, "to not call me that. And no, I don't think I'll be swimming today."

"Ugh, for Merlin's sake, Lil—"

"Look," said Lily, interrupting whatever protest was on the tip of Marlene's tongue, "please understand that I'm here and I'm excited but I'm not going to be all the time a hundred percent excited. I want to hang with you today, talk a little, read… But I don't feel like swimming in a probably cold water surrounded by families of tourists. I did bring my swimming suit, though, so I do plan on swimming. But not today."

It might have been the ferocity with which Lily said this, or the fact that her own doubts flashed through her eyes as she tried to maintain a firm position. After a couple of seconds Marlene decided to drop it.

Some minutes later, Michelle got out of the bathroom, with the same clothes she had before but smelling of coconut and with her skin looking shiny from the lotion. She tossed it at Lily's bed.

"Put some lotion, Lilian. I don't want you to burn your creamy pale complexion, love."

"Don't. Call. Me. That." Said Lily with a growl, but complied nonetheless with her friend. After lathering herself with lotion, she tossed it to Marlene who needed no telling and started smearing with little care the lotion all over her limbs and face.

Lily looked at her as if she was a child and sighed, then decided to help her with the white spots left all over her.

"Seriously, Marlene, sometimes you act like you're five."

"Luckily, I have two extra mums."

"Oh, shove it."

"So, you're not gonna change to different clothes?"

Lily turned to Marlene, then to her clothes. She was wearing a plain denim skirt that went all the way down to her ankle, a plain white cotton t-shirt, and a pair of white sandals. She thought she was dressed comfortably to go to the beach and sit in the shadow, but her friends were wearing high-waisted shorts and tank tops.

"No, you know, I just feel like walking around, relaxing. I don't want to run around the beach and I know that's what you two are planning to do, but you'll just have to deal with it."

Marlene chuckled.

"I wasn't going to say anything, I was just asking."

Lily rolled her eyes and the three girls went downstairs where they met up with Sara and Diane.

"So we're going to the beach to have a little picnic if you want to join us. Then we'll be coming back here for dinner, and you two have to be here at five to eat dinner with us. We can rest a little, take a quick shower, and then we can head out to the beach to watch the sunset."

Sara nodded while Diane said it might be fun to join the girls in their picnic, before leaving for town without skipping a beat.

Before leaving, Marlene went to the kitchens where she asked for some sandwiches, fruit, and fresh water and apple juice to the house elves. They helped her pack everything inside a magic rusack that remained compact in size and light in weight, with almost no concern for how much content was added.

They left the house and took a road that led them to town.

"So you got your O.W.L.s marks? I got O's in Defense, Potions, and Herbology and E's in everything else," Marlene turned her gaze to Lily, "I don't know, I guess I'm a little disappointed on myself. But how did you do?"

Lily avoided meeting Marlene's gaze. She had received her marks mid-July and shared it rather enthusiastically with her dad, with four O's in Defense, Potions, Herbology, and Arithmancy, and four E's in Magic History, Charms, Ancient Runes, and Transfiguration. She was not, however, as eager to share it with her friends, specifically Marlene. Ever since first year, Lily and Marlene had been getting similar marks in every class, with one occasionally doing better than the other. From time to time, things got a bit more competitive but things remained friendly. However, soon after Lily was made prefect last term, things turned a little sour. After she wrote Marlene with the news, her response (and following letters) were brief and less enthusiastic. Even after term started, she kept treating Lily weirdly, until Lily got tired of her small eye rolls and little snide comments and confronted her. It was ugly, but Marlene eventually admitted to being jealous and disappointed, and apologised.

And now that Lily had gotten one more Outstanding in her O.W.L.s than Marlene, she was not entirely sure how her friend was going to react.

But, then again, Marlene had apologised and admitted she had to work on her competitiveness. And she was one of her best friends, and Lily believed in second chances.

"Well, I got O's in Defense, Potions, Herbology, and Arithmancy, and E's in everything else."

She said this almost too quickly, still avoiding looking at Marlene. However, she stole a glance to her friend and, for a second, she was sure she saw bitterness in her gaze. It was gone as soon as Lily noticed it, and although she decided to forget about it, she couldn't help but feeling a little uneasy.

"Oh, I got the same O's as you, Marlene," said Michelle, "and the rest E's."

"Ay, we did well, didn' we?" Said Marlene with a weird accent, any trace of bitterness gone from her face.

Lily giggled at her accent and nodded.

Soon, they had arrived to the town, walking on a main street that eventually led to a pier with different shops, restaurantes and cafés. By that time, the sun was high in the sky, shining strongly, and the heat was starting to become suffocating. Marlene led them to the beach, where the sea breeze was stronger and, thankfully, the heat was bearable in the shade. They quickly found some, where Marlene spread a large cloth, and they sat down.

The three girls got out the food and spread it out on top of the cloth. Marlene poured them juice and each grabbed a piece of fruit.

"So," began casually Michelle, "have you been getting The Prophet?"

For a tense second, a look was exchanged between the girls.

Of course, everyone had been getting the news one way or the other. Dark news filled every conversation, and even though open war was yet to be declared, every witch and wizard in the country had to be alert. And, somehow, Lily felt most bad news never made the papers. Muggle news had been reporting weird occurrences lately.

Lily found her mind going again to Sev, a dark shadow grew in her mind.

"Yeah," she said, suddenly courageous, trying to push the dark thoughts out of her mind, "I've been reading it, actually. I haven't found it in myself to share with dad," she lamented, "but I still find myself encouraged."

She looked around to her friends, who had grown quiet, quickly turning somber. She couldn't find it in herself, however, to be abashed about her sudden burst of courage.

"You know, way before my first year in Hogwarts I knew I was different somehow. I hadn't asked for this life, this circumstances, but I knew ever since I was a little girl I was different to my family. And when I finally got what I thought was the answer to my questions, I found myself different to the people I thought I was equal to."

A pause. Words were difficult to get out in the correct order when one realize this has been brewing for a long time on the inside.

"I guess what I'm saying is that now I'm realising it doesn't matter wether or not I asked for this life, because in the end I'm here, now, living and breathing. And now, I know I have a right to a true life, a life where I'm finally free and equal and appreciated, and where I don't have to prove my value every single step I take, where I don't have to work two, three times as hard as my "equals" to prove I'm as valuable as they are," she was growing breathless, a dam breaking inside here. "That I'm as human as they are, that I feel as they feel, I hurt as they hurt, and I love as they love. No! I love even more than they do, because I can, we can, find value in everyone. I—"

Lily stopped herself, knowing just then that if she didn't pause, she would never stop.

"I'm sorry," she said after a few minutes, "it's just that ever since I, er, got into my Lily-cave, it has been hard getting out of my own head. And I couldn't talk to dad about my woes, and it was so hard putting everything in writing… But I haven't been able to stop myself thinking about how important it is for me to take a stand, to fight for my own right to be."

Her hands had been crumpling the hem of her skirt, and for most of her speech she had been looking at the apple seeds that laid in front of her. She couldn't resist much longer the urge to look up to the pitiful looks of her friends.

However, she discovered her friends were showing a variety of emotions in their faces, none of which seemed to included pity. Marlene looked suddenly quite proud, with a determined gaze towards Lily, and Michelle looked in awe, not with incredulity, but with admiration.

Her heart thumped loudly in her ears, but she didn't feel ashamed.

"I don't know," she said, breaking the silence that suddenly weighted a ton inside Lily, "I might just be talking out of my bum, but I now feel I could not live with myself if I didn't know I was working hard to change things."

Her friends still didn't say anything, and each minute grew more uncomfortable for Lily.

"Say something, or I'll keep on rambling like crazy."

"You're not rambling like crazy," said quickly Michelle, "come one, Lily. Give us some credit. Don't you think I've been in a similar position to yours? I…"

Michelle sighed and closed her eyes.

"A part of me wishes Kathy wasn't a witch. I know it's terrible to even think it, but Lily is right, no one asks to be put in the middle of a war, fighting for their own right to exist. And now there's a chance this war is also going to divide my family and I cannot help but feel like I'm such a burden i—"

"Michelle," said Marlene quietly, as she put a hand on her shoulder, "you're not a burden. You're one of the most brilliant witches to have ever lived."

"And your family," said Lily, moving closer, "loves you, and they love each other, and nothing's going to divide you. And seriously, Kathy and Mark are going to be okay."

Both girls got closer and they embraced Michelle, and soon the three of them were hugging each other; a small group, it's own kind of family out in the beach.

"I know I'm being silly," said Chelle, wiping her face with her hand as the girls broke apart, "and that I'm not a burden. But it's hard, sometimes, to remind yourself of this when you just don't seem to fit. And you're right Lily, I cannot just stand by, waiting for someone to fix this for me."

Whatever doubts or fears Lily had while she was talking to her friends, vanished.

"I'm so proud of you girls," said Marlene grinning, "you two are ready to start a revolution."

She moved quickly and before the other two could say anything, she had kissed both of her friends in the cheek.

"But you know," she said, as she sat down in her original spot, "you two are not going to fight You-Know-Who on your own. There are people who are getting ready too."

Marlene McKinnon turned to her friends, a devilish glint in her eyes and a sly smile in her face.

"Mar?," said Chelle, with a cautious tone, "do you want to tell us something?"

"Me?," answered Marlene with feigned shock, "oh, no, no. I cannot say."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Mar, we know how much you love gossip, just spill it out already."

"Well," a dignified Marlene said, "this is not gossip. This is more important than simple gossip."

She moved to grab an apple and between bites she stared explaining.

"Like I said, this is a nice muggle town, but for the last ten years this place has been quite a popular spot for vacationing magical families. But not just any magical families. We started coming here because the Longbottoms told my parents about this place. They also have a house near mine, although they share it with the Abbotts. The Cattermoles,, Meadows, Bones, Potters and Vances all come here. And they don't come here just to enjoy the sun and the beach. I mean, maybe at first they did. I wouldn't know, I was still young and my parents never said anything weird or suspicious in front of me, but nowadays it's also a meeting point for this families."

Both Michelle and Lily were quiet, as Marlene grabbed a sandwich and paused to bite on it.

"This year we came to meet with most of them, or at least my parents are going to meet with them, because there's people getting ready to confront You-Know-Who. And not only writing think-pieces on the Prophet or declaring they're muggle and muggle-born friendly, but actually getting ready to fight. So trust me, you two are not going to be alone, fighting. Something big, important, is cooking. And we'll be a part of it."

Marlene finished, just as she was finishing her sandwich. Their little spot on the sand was quiet, the sea breeze still blowing, playing with the girls hair, and the birds were chirping away. Marlene looked satisfied as her friends reflected on her words.

Michelle broke the silence first.

"How do you know?"

"Well," her expression turned to one of complete seriousness, not feigned like before, and all traces of mischief gone from her eyes, "my parents came to me before I invited you two, to tell me you're family. They adore you, of course, and we couldn't ignore the news at home. Sara was invited for my sister's benefit, of course, but her family had to leave the country because apparently an aunt of her has gone missing, so we agreed to take her for the last weeks of summer. The Shackelbolt are part of the families that come here, but this year they, well, couldn't. My parents mentioned things are, er, serious. And they think us, as magical families, have a responsibility to all magic folk who are being treated unfairly. Specially when you're being treated like that by our own cousins…"

She turned to look at her hands, suddenly ashamed.

"This whole blood status rubbish has been maintained for decades by those pure-blood-obssessed families and families like my own have stood by, allowing them to spew their hate speech. It was only a matter of time before a Dark Lord appeared. And I think it's time to stop being so complacent with hate, and take responsibility of our own inactions. Because you are right," suddenly, her eyes shined, as she sounded more determined that ashamed, "no muggle-born asked to be put in the middle of a war. It was us who putted them there."

"Marlene, it wasn't you," said Lily.

"No, I know it wasn't me personally, but it was us. And you shouldn't fight for your rights on your own, when we contributed to the actions that too are taking them away."

Another silence.

As each reflected on the things that had been said in the last half-hour, none realised how light they felt now. The fear of war had manage to keep them quiet about their own feelings and, although oblivious to them, sharing part of their load between them had bonded them in a different way than before, more permanent and more real.

"Hello, there," an unfamiliar voice broke the silence. A boy with mousy short hair and deep blue eyes had silently made its way towards the girls. Lily looked at him, apprehensive. She didn't recognize him, not from school nor any other magic place, so she wondered if he was a wizard. Or if he knew they were witches.

"Hi Thomas!" Greeted Marlene. Michelle also had an apprehensive look on her face. "This are my friends, Lily Evans and Michelle Mond." She turned to her friends. "And this is Thomas Bedingfield, he's the son of the owner of a mug—, er, a bookshop on the pier."

Thomas waved to the girls and Michelle smiled. Lily only nodded; she didn't enjoy talking to strange people and she wouldn't do it unless completely necessary.

"I didn't know you were coming this summer, Mar."

"We're only staying two weeks, then we go back to school."

Lily turned to Marlene. Who was this guy and how much did he know?

"Ah, yes, the most exclusive and secret school in the country, of which I cannot know its name."

"That's correct," said Marlene smiling.

Michelle was also looking at Marlene, doubt etched across her face. But Thomas wasn't looking at either her nor Lily.

"Hmm, too bad, if I knew where it was, I could visit you, Mar."

Marlene rolled her eyes.

Lily and Michelle were used to generally being ignored by any male that approached them. Marlene not only had the most outgoing personality, making friends with almost anyone, but she was also quite attractive, with her long legs and slim constitution, a fully formed chest, paired with her tight clothes, her perfect makeup and a silky, chocolate hair, men almost couldn't help but to go after her. And Marlene knew this, sometimes enjoying more than she should the attention.

"Come, sit with us. Have a tangerine?"

Thomas sat down and took one, looking at it curiously.

"How?"

"Hmm?"

"It's not tangerine season. And I'm not quite sure they can grow here."

"My grandma sent them."

"Oh."

Michelle smiled to herself, but Lily shifted uncomfortably on the spot. Of course tangerines cannot grow normally in that climate or place. Normally. But with an atmospheric charm, the fruit would grow easily. And Lily knew this, as well as Michelle, but Thomas shouldn't know this. And yet, he accepted the answer. Maybe that was a common answer to this kind of inquiries?

"So," said Thomas as he peeled the tangerine, "what are you lovely ladies doing this beautiful day?"

"Nothing, just catching up. So, you own a bookshop. What kind?"

Michelle could barely contain the interest in her voice, even as she tried to sound casual and friendly. Thomas laughed.

"We stock classics and some novelties, but my dad is obsessed with used things. We, er, sell second-hand books and other things, like postcards and old photos."

"Really?", Lily couldn't help but be interested. She liked things that had been previously owned. She liked holding them and looking at them and imagining what stories it kept from her, knowing well she would never know.

"Yeah," said Thomas, turning to her, "he's totally nuts for that old shite, but he's an alright fella."

She didn't know wether she should be offended by the way he described his father and his job, or laugh at what might as well be a joke. But Thomas had a twinkle in his eyes.

Lily smiled.

"I can show it to you, we could go now."

"No way," intervened Marlene before anyone else spoke, "today we're staying here in the beach. I'm dying to go for a swim and I'm not going to the town all sticky. And we have plans later today. But if you want, you hang with us."

"Nah," he answered, as he got up and dusted the sand from his legs, "I gotta go help the old man do inventory. But you should drop by tomorrow. And," he added, addressing Michelle and Lily, "if you want you can come after we close, so you can explore more freely."

"Thanks! That sounds brill," said Michelle.

They said their goodbyes and after Thomas left, Marlene turned to Lily.

"As soon as he mentioned weird vintage stuff you were ready to jump him!"

"Excuse me? 'Jump him'?"

"He seems like a nice chap," added Chelle before Marlene could retort, "and I'm always up to visit a new bookshop."

"How do you know him anyway?" asked the redhead.

"Well, during a summer that we came here I was bored out of my wits. My sister used to be so annoying when she was six, and the only magical folk here were old Mr. and Mrs. Graham. So I used to go to town alone. You know, it wasn't as dangerous as it can be now, and I would enter the muggle shops. I never had any muggle money, but I enjoyed it. Anyway, Thomas's father noticed me entering a couple of times on my own and after asking me were my parents were, offered me some lemonade. That's when I met Thomas. Of course my parents were worried I was spending my afternoons with some muggle family, but I convinced them to come with me and they obviously loved Mr. Bedingfield, and we have even taken them out to dinner. I mean, we can't invite them to our house with all the magic stuff there, so we just say we visit an old and sick great-aunt and that's why they can't come."

"And don't you worry they might discover… well… you know?" said Lily,

"I don't think there's any danger with Mr. Bedingfield. My parents are perfectly nice to him and act as nice muggles when they're with him. I reckon Thomas knows something, but we've been friends for four years now, and I guess he decided to respect my secrets."

"But it's not so much a secret as a secret identity," said Chelle, but Marlene only laughed.

"You act as if I'm a different person in front of a nice muggle boy, Chelle. I just don't mention anything from school and that's it. I think he thinks we go to some supergenius gifted kids school or something."

"Well, I like him," declared Michelle.

"I think I do too," added Lily.

Marlene smiled.

"I bet you do."

"Oh, shove it already, will you?"

Michelle laughed and soon was joined by the other two.

They finished their lunch and each girl got a book out. While Marlene and Michelle laid down basking on the sun, Lily remained shielded by the shade. Eventually, the two girls left her alone as they went to the sea to refresh themselves.

Her book was interesting, and she made notes of Virginia's thoughts and hypothesis. She thought to her own room, her Lily-Cave, and once again found herself thinking about the duality of her current emotional distress. Even with the guilt of becoming reclusive during the summer, she appreciated the time spent thinking about her life and choices. Of course war was not pleasant, but she couldn't do anything about living it, since it had already started. But maybe she could help finish it.

She though about at it while looking at her friends, now chasing each other around the beach. As she was thankful for her solitude, she was now glad to be with her friends. And so, she took a nap while looking at the sky.

Soon they had to go back to the house. Diane and Sara did not show up to the beach, but Mar was sure they'd be there.

"So," said Michelle as they were just outside of the town, "we're going to meet up with any Hogwarts student?"

Marlene and Michelle exchanged a quick look, and Lily acted as if she didn't notice.

"Er, yeah, I guess. Like I said, Sara's parents are not coming this summer but my parents mentioned something about an important meeting, so I'm guessing the rest of the families are coming."

A pregnant silence followed. No one said anything, but Lily knew what was implied in that short exchange. Back at the beach she had intentionally ignored the fact that certain family was mentioned when talking about who was rallying to this mysterious meeting. Her encounter with James Potter the last day of classes flashed briefly in her mind and she flushed pink. She tried to push the memory away so that her face didn't betray her, but someone did notice.

"Lily," said Chelle, "are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said, as casual as she could, smiling to her friend, "why you ask?"

"No reason."

And no more was said on the subject.

Sara and Diane were hanging out in the living room when they arrived. Marlene's parents arrived soon after them, but left twenty minutes later. The girls sat down for dinner, served by the elves. The young girls had been window shopping in town and had returned to read before dinner.

After dinner, they all decided to shower before leaving for the bonfire. Marlene mentioned she sent some invites to some other people, only witches and wizards since they were doing it in the private, closer beach instead of the town's beach.

The weather was now chillier, and they all dressed in jeans and t-shirts.

They waited for Dorcas Meadowes, Edgar Bones, and his younger cousin Amelia just at the end of the road of Mar's house. Dorcas and Edgar were in the same year as them, both Ravenclaws, and Amelia was a three years younger Hufflepuff. Other people were supposed to join them at the beach.

The sun was slowly approaching the horizon, but the sea breeze made it quite chilly so they decided to light the fire, which Marlene did with matches.

"Hey," a blonde girl approached them, accompanied by another girl with short brown hair.

"Hi, Ellie, Emmeline."

Ellie Cattermole and Emmeline Vance, a pair of Gryffindors a year younger than Lily, Michelle, and Marlene, were also there vacationing with their families. They sat down and started chatting with Michelle and Edgar about their summers. They were soon followed by Becca Abbott, a Hufflepuff, Frank Longbottom and his girlfriend, Alice Fortescue. The three of them were about to enter their seventh year at Hogwarts.

Lily was talking with Alice when the last group of people arrived.

"Hi, James," Frank, the first to notice the new arrivals, greeted. A tall, olived skin boy, with square glasses and jet black messy hair had arrived. With a crooked smile and a wave of the hand he greeted everyone. He was followed by his best friend, a tall boy with dark hair and a handsome expression in his face, and by a thin boy with ash brown hair and a short, plump boy with blonde short hair.

Almost everyone got up to greet the Marauders but Lily remained where she was, taking a second to consider her options.

She got up and moved towards Remus.

"Hi, Lily."

"Hi, Remus. How is your mom?"

"Oh, er, fine. She really enjoyed the cookies you sent. She sends her thanks but I didn't have time to write it before coming here."

"Oh, when did you get here?"

"Two days ago. James told us his parents were preparing a revolution and we should come down here to get sloshed and to prepare to bring down the Dark Lord."

Lily slightly raised her eyebrows, but tried to get pass the comment. She cursed herself internally. Of course Remus was here with Potter and the rest of the Marauders; she could've not led the conversation that way. A pink blush started to appear on her cheeks. Why was she feeling abashed?

"Yeah, apparently things are brewing here."

"Marlene told you. I'm not entirely surprised. I think this reunion was called by the two of them."

 _Reunion?_ When had Marlene talked to James Potter and arranged a meeting? She looked over to her friend, who was now talking to that same cousin.

"Yeah, she told us," she quickly added, trying not to sound too fazed by the unintentionally revealed information.

"Well," she finally said, a sincere smile on her face, "I'm glad you're here."

He smiled back and went to meet with his friends, who were now sitting next to Marlene. She followed his path and saw him sit down next to Sirius. She turned, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes and sat as far as she could, next to Michelle.

"So, how are you feeling?"

"Apparently Marlene arranged this 'meeting' with James."

"Oh, er, I guessed as much. I thought if Marlene knew what her parents were up to, James surely did too, and you know how they get when they work together."

Lily looked at the bonfire.

"She could've told me we were meeting with them the very first day here."

"Oh, come on Lily!" She turned to look at Chelle, an exasperated look in her face. "Can you really blame her? Everyone witnessed your blow out with James, and we weren't even sure if you wanted to come after, well, what happened. Besides, Mar wouldn't just go behind your back. I'm certain they decided to bring us all together for something."

Lily felt annoyed, knowing perfectly well Michelle was right. However, she still wanted to be mad with Marlene. She gave a dry "whatever," and remained silent afterwards. Michelle only rolled her eyes and turned to talk with Dorcas.

Lily, not having anyone to talk to, couldn't help but look again at Potter. He was deep in conversation with Marlene and Sirius Black, and she dared to stare a bit. She felt again a twinge of guilt inside her chest. The memory of their last encounter played again inside her mind.

He had tried talking to her on the last day of term, as they made their way to the carriages. Before he could say anything, she had told him to drop death, far away from her. As he retorted, angrily, what was her problem, she tried storming away, but he stopped her. Soon, they were both screaming, wands out, and a furious McGonagall was standing in the middle of them, as an increasingly big group of onlookers gathered around.

They hadn't talked since.

She continued to stare, not even caring if he turned and discovered her doing it. He didn't, however.

The sun was soon at its lowest, and the chatter died down as everyone turned to look the sun set. Lily mulled over her own feelings, but soon found herself uncomfortable with herself. She decided to concentrate instead in the colors reflecting on the ocean.

The sky was dark when someone talked again, this time addressing the entire group.

"Hello, everyone."

As soon as James spoke, everyone looked up and he, in turn, looked slowly around, taking in every expression..

"Thanks for coming. We, that is Marlene and I, asked you here because… Because a war is raging on, as we speak, out there in the real world."

The silence weighed even more than before.

"Inside the school we can pleasantly ignore whatever goes outside those walls. But I think enough is enough. We have stood idly by for long enough. By now, most of us," he turned with a disapproving look at Diane and Sara, "are about to finish school."

"It doesn't matter, James," said Marlene, "Diane and Sara should be here too. War is not going to stay out of the classrooms forever, and it's their world too. They, at least, have a right to know."

Sara was looking down at her hands, while Diane looked proudly at her sister.

"Be that as it may, we are all here today."

He paused, again, not knowing exactly how to go on.

"I don't know how many of you know why this summer we all just happened to coincide, but it's no coincidence. All of our parents are meeting some nights for the next few weeks, because a group of witches and wizards are getting ready to become active participants in the aforementioned war. The Ministry is still refusing to declare open war to Voldemort. Meanwhile his followers are growing.

"It's now becoming evident, even at school," James gaze paused on Lily, who returned his gaze while growing slightly pink, "that not only elderly and tradition-obsessed people are ready to align with his views.

"We can no longer stand idle by. Even if some of our parents believe we're too young, we have a right to fight for our world. Our future."

Lily was staring, almost unblinkingly, at James's hazel eyes shining gold with the light of the fire. Michelle had grown stiff next to her, and the tension in the air was weirdly punctured by the waves of the ocean and the crackling embers.

"I know I, er, haven't been the best when it comes to interacting with my classmates," Lily suppressed a snort, "but this is no game, no longer a joke. We gotta step up, defend those who cannot defend themselves. First years are coming to Hogwarts and I," he turned to Marlene and the Marauders, "that is, we feel things are going to get worse from here. People are disappearing, and I don't think it wise to keep pretending the little Death Eaters won't escalate things just because of some silly school rules."

"So what are you suggesting we do?" asked Alice.

Marlene stood up.

"We are not suggesting any specific action. Not yet, anyway. We are underage, after all. But, firstly, we are here because even if you came with your family, I'm sure most of you had no idea of any ulterior motives for your family holidays.

"Which brings me to our second point, of what we can do for now."

"Wait," exclaimed Sirius, "how can we be sure everyone here is trustworthy?"

"You're one to talk, Black" interjected Edgar, "isn't your family _Toujours Pur_."

"Listen here, you daft twat—"

Edgar got up and in a second was next to Sirius, screaming in his face. Amelia started throwing insults towards him, and soon, the night was filled with angry voices. Sirius and Edgar's discussion was quickly escalating.

"ENOUGH!" A voice boomed. Almos everyone turned to James, except Edgar and Sirius who were still at it.

"Isn't Regulus dear a future Death Eater?"

"Shut your mouth or I swear I'll fucking shut it for you!"

"Nice talk for a not-Death Eater."

"I said enough!" said James putting himself between the two of them. Sirius, however, was trying to push him away.

"Get out of the way, Prongs!"

A dark look crossed James's eyes and Sirius stopped struggling.

"Sirius, _sit_."

Without any more protests, Sirius sat down again.

"Please, sit down, Edgar."

After everyone was once again settled down, he addressed the group again.

"I though it was clear from the beginning, that if we are all here, it's because Mar or myself consider you trustworthy. Of course, we cannot make any assurances for anyone. But most of us have known each other for years, and I at least don't need anyone proving their loyalties here," he turned to Sirius and Edgar, both of whom were scowling. "After all, we are not Death Eaters. But if anyone has a problem or doesn't feels comfortable, you are free to leave."

No one moved.

"Okay, great," said Marlene, who had remained standing up, "since no one is leaving, can we assume then that we're all friends and trust each other, right? Because the next thing I want to discuss is more sensitive.

"Because even if we're underage and we cannot, technically, fight You-Know-Who out there, that doesn't mean we have to be in the dark about what's going on. If the situation escalates, and we have to act, we cannot do so without any information. Which is why, we're going to try to figure out what our parents are up to."

"So," said Becca, "we're going to eavesdrop on them? That's your plan agains You-Know-Who?"

"Well, Rebecca," said Marlene, rolling her eyes, "we gotta start somewhere. The papers are keeping most of the things quiet, and I doubt the teachers are going to tell us. And we cannot take action, no matter what happens, if we have no idea what or why it is happening. So, for now, we propose to make a commitment."

"What kind of commitment?" asked Lily.

"Firstly, to oppose Voldemort," a shudder traveled through the circle as James pronounced the last word, "no matter what happens. And to come together, as a group of witches and wizards, to oppose him. And that includes gathering information, which is why we gotta know what's going on with our parents."

He hadn't turn to look at Lily when she had spoken up, and she couldn't help but notice it. A knot was settling in her stomach.

No one said anything for a few minutes.

"And how are we supposed to figure out what's being said in whatever meetings they're having, if most of us had no idea in the first place there were meetings?" asked Frank.

"Well," for the first time, James seem hesitant, "for now, whatever you can come up with is okay. Of course, ideally, our parents won't know we're doing this, but if you think asking could produce some answers, do it. But be clever about it, don't go repeating everything we talk here. I would suggest not even admitting you know all this families just so happen to be here in Woolacombe.

"But," he added at the sight of disappointed faces around the circle, "the Marauders are working on it. Ideally we'll be able to hear exactly what is going on in this meetings. Trust us, we'll figure it out."

"Actually," intervened again Marlene, "we're almost certain one is happening right now."

"Dinner with Mrs. Graham!," exclaimed Diane, "but that was hours ago."

"Yeah, we're not certain but—"

"Wait," said Ellie, "my parents said they were going to Mrs. Graham's"

"Frank's mom and my parents said something similar too," added Becca.

"My mum said she wasn't coming to dinner, too" added Emmeline.

"Did everyone's parents had dinner plans?" asked Remus. It appeared every adult involved in the discussion had dinner plans that evening.

"Okay," said James, "I think we can say with confidence that today was the first meeting. We gotta figure out what was or is being said. For future meetings, I think what's going to be more difficult is figuring out where they'll be. We have several houses were they could meet, and I don't think they'll be going to old lady Graham's every time, it'll look suspicious."

"How do you even know there's going to be more meetings? I mean, how do you even know this meetings are about standing up to You-Know-Who?" asked Dorcas.

"I know because I heard my parents discussing it," said Marlene.

"I thought you said they had told you," said Michelle.

"I only said they mentioned a meeting. I heard them discussing it in their room after they talked to me about inviting you two."

"Still," insisted Dorcas, "how do you know there's going to be more than one meeting?"

"Well," said Remus, "how long are you all staying?"

It appeared everyone was leaving the weekend before term started.

"So," he continued, "we're not sure there's going to be more meetings, but I say it's a safe bet. And we'll know for sure soon enough."

Everyone seemed content with that.

"Now," said Marlene after some moments, as if she had been waiting to see if anyone had more complaints, "are you in or not?"

For a few seconds, everyone looked at their classmate. Eventually Sara got up.

"I'm in."

"Me too," exclaimed brightly Diane.

Soon, everyone followed, and when it was agreed upon, even Sirius and Edgar shook hands.

"Okay then, if we're doing this, we got to be careful about it," said Frank, "like not putting anything in writing. And if we want to include someone, everyone has to agree."

"Excellent, Frank," said Marlene, cheered by his suggestions. "Yes, we should be careful. And I think we should all agree on these security measures. Do we all agree in accepting new people to our agreement only if everyone is okay with this person?"

"Agreed," everyone chorused.

"And do we agree to not put anything relating to this discussions in writing?"

"Agreed."

"And do we agree to do everything in our power to, er," she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "to try and stop Lord Voldemort."

"Agreed," everyone chorused, the Marauders practically shouting.

"Then it's settled."

Diane howled, and the Marauders screamed huzzahs and hurrays. Most cheered and even Lily allowed herself to beam.

Because Marlene was right, she wasn't alone. And now she felt even more the warmth enveloping her. The night was clear, and the waves kept crashing down on the beach, and as she saw her friends cheering, she started to feel that things might improve after all.

Someone got sausages out to cook, and someone else produced a case of butterbeers. They drank and ate for what felt for hours. Everyone talked about the future, and the war, but also about their summer and their classes. Frank and Alice were planning on entering the Auror's program and Becca wanted to train as a healer when she finished school. Sara seemed more excited to enter school, and Diane had dragged her to talk to Sirius, who was telling them about his favourite pranks. Marlene was talking with James, a serious expression in both of their faces. There would be a moment to discuss her secret plans with James Potter, but for now she felt happy enough to talk with Michelle, Emmeline and Ellie about a muggle music gig Michelle went to.

Eventually, the five girls had to get back to the house. They were exhausted, and the walk home was quiet.

Lily got into her bed. It was soft and comfortable, and before she could think about everything that had happened that day, she fell asleep.

* * *

 _18th August 1976._

 _Dear Dad,_

 _Are you missing me already? I do miss you, as always._

 _You were right. I needed to get out and see my friends. Woolacombe is beautiful, you would love it. It is warm and sunny! We met a friend of Mar, Thomas, and his father owns a bookshop that also sells second-hand trinkets. At least that's what he told me. I'll look for something nice to send you._

 _I'll be returning the Sunday before school starts, so I can buy my things on Monday. Yes yes, I know, I shouldn't have left it at the last minute… But, well. What's done is done._

 _I hope you're eating well and sleeping your eight hours._

 _Send my regards to Tuny._

 _I love you, Dad. Take care. I'll write you soon._

 _Lots of love,_

 _L.E._

 _P.S. Please give Sulis some treats. I forgot them back home and she's not happy._


End file.
